I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize