She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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