My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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