Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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