Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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