if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
