ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
