are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
