I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
