so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
