He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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