I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
