Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
