just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
