She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
