Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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