i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
