Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
