dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
do herpes really smell.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
