he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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