i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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