this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
