You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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