sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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