walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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