it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
