walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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