I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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