You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
