do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
