I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
