How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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