You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
