would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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