i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
