Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
