it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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