Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Randomize
