no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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