im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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