The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
