i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
