Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He kissed a someone with a penis
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am one with the molecules
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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