youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
