he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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