I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
