I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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