my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
