Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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