you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
