i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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