It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
