well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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