Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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