Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
