Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
