If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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