My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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