I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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