legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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