haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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