theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
