I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Two words: blizzard sex
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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