For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
