My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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