I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
